More Nocturnal Craziness

Okay, something’s going on. I’m a little embarrassed to be sharing, but I promised I would share everything and not censor too much. So here goes.

I really regret complaining about the peeing in the beginning of my pregnancy, because I hadn’t seen anything yet.

 

Sunday night I woke up suddenly around 3am with the sensation of peeing, even though it was probably the fourth or fifth time I’d been up already. It wasn’t much at all; just enough to send me flying to the bathroom. After I thought I was finished, I stood up and walked a couple of steps and then peed all over myself.

 

Yes, that’s what I said; I actually peed a little on my feet and the floor. At least I think it was pee; I had NO sensation of peeing whatsoever. I mean, it just came out, like under NO control of my own. What the hell? I resumed cleaning myself up again and returned to bed, a little worried.

Could this be my water breaking? I’m not sure what I’m looking for here…it would seem to me that it would be the water, but there were too many signs pointing against it. For one, there was no blood. Shouldn’t there be a twinge of blood somewhere? Also, there were no contractions and it didn’t continue.

I concluded that it just must be Avery “dropping” a little and this maneuvering on her part has caused me to have a little bit of urinary incontinence.

(Note to self: add this to the list of serious WTFs.) I don’t think I’ve done this since I was, like, four.

I told Mikey about it later, because I didn’t even feel it necessary to wake him.

 

Last night it happened again, only this time I woke up in an actual puddle of something, soaking through my underwear, pad, and Mikey’s boxer shorts. Everything. I jumped up, alarmed, and ran to the bathroom.

I don’t know what it was. It couldn’t have been pee…surely I would’ve woken up? I’m not even sleeping much as it is. It didn’t smell like it either. It didn’t smell like, anything. And there was the tiniest bit of pinkish on the toilet paper. I mean, teensy, but I couldn’t deny it.

And then there are the cramps. Ever since this morning, I’ve been having what feel like menstrual cramps, still relatively mild but more persistent.

 

Thank GOD I have my appointment today at 3:30. I’m so anxious to hear what the doctor has to say. This could be it; then again it could be nothing. Who knows???

 

I’m sitting here at work and can barely concentrate. What if I’m in labor and don’t even realize? I’m trying not to think about it; no sense in working myself up for nothing. Maybe I just have a temporary nocturnal peeing problem due to a 7-pound baby pushing on my bladder in my sleep and nothing more at this point. I mean, I still have 11 whole days until my due date, right?

 

I’m starting to freak out a little. I mean, I can say I’m ready to do this until I’m blue in the face, but every little sign that pushes me closer to labor and delivery, I panic a little. I’m scared in both the very best and the very worst of ways. I won’t ever be totally ready, I think, for any of this.

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing that pops in my head is, “could today be Avery’s birthday?”